Ever since I was about 12 or 13 I kept a journal. I made it a habit to write every night before bed. Sometimes this journaling would be about how my day had gone, frustrations that I had, prayers, song lyrics, thoughts about whatever it was I was reading at the time. Some time later...high school-ish...I transitioned from writing in a journal to blogging. I kept this up throughout college, but then when I moved home from Shorter I just stopped blogging. I don't know what happened. Actually I do kind of know what happened, I got busy planning a wedding. Then I got married. I taught school. I taught dance. I had a baby. I stopped teaching school. I kept teaching dance. I had another baby. You know...life.
It's time for me to write again. I've been feeling a stirring inside of me. I have things to say. Other things than "no...put that down" "don't climb on that" "please finish your breakfast" "time to clean up" and thousands of other "mom" sayings. I've got actual legit things to say. Even if I only say them here on this blog and no one else reads it or even cares for that matter. I have things that I need to get out of me. I've got to make the time to make my thoughts known, if only known to me.
My husband, Jason, said that he was happy about me starting to write again because we'd be able to remember things a bit better and maybe, just maybe, it would help me to "turn off some of the t.v.'s in my head." :) High hopes for those of you that know what I mean about those t.v.'s.
You see I have this way of explaining what the inside of my brain is like. Imagine yourself walking into the largest electronic store ever. You walk over to where the obligatory wall of t.v.'s are located. We're not talking about just a small wall or even a medium wall for that matter. Think like, football field sized wall with thousands of t.v.'s all playing different channels. These channels could be any number of things: what to wear the next day with reasons explaining why or why not, how many more times am I going to have to tell Ava to stop screaming so loud so that she won't wake up her sister, did I remember to throw out that diaper, I shouldn't have said that to so and so, I should've said this to so and so, how is the gospel showing itself in my life, I've got to work on choreography, when was the last time I washed my hair, what am I doing so wrong as a wife/mother/friend/sister/daughter, etc, etc, etc. Need I go on? So then when I lay down at night to try and fall asleep I try to go through and one-by-one turn these t.v.'s off. There are some, of course, that will never turn off. Regardless I try to turn off as many as I can. So maybe this blog will help me "power down" just a bit.
Either way, it's time and I'm excited.
Oh Lyn! So excited to read your writing. Wish I had been following your blogging all along, but pumped that I have the privilege to start following this one now! I have so many TVs in my head, too! One of them is a constant reel of Krispy Kreme and coffee. :)
ReplyDeletegood way to start it out, i love you --Jason
ReplyDeleteYay! I feel priviledged to know about your TVs first hand! I love you and look forward to reading your heart. I think you totally deserve time for making your thoughts known. Glad you're willing to share! :)
ReplyDeleteHooray for writing again! It's a big encouragement to me. I've been wanting to, too, but feel guilty for taking out a chunk of my little bit of free time just for me. So, you're an inspiration. You're right-- it *is* important. And thanks for the stars lesson (never thought about all of that EVER!), and I like your tv analogy. I use a different one for the same idea--- windows open! (In addition to all the junk in my brain, you should see how many tabs I have across the top of my computer right now... Eeek.)
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