1.16.2016

Presence, Not Presents

I love giving.

I love finding a random little trinket that is specific to just one person, buying it, and then giving it to them for no reason at all, on a boring weekday, out of the blue, just because it made me think of them.

I love finding things throughout the year, that my kids are really wanting, at a good price and setting it aside for Christmas.

I'd love to give more...to more people...and more often, but unfortunately I did not win the billion dollar lottery.

I'm fairly certain that I've inherited this love of giving from my mother, although I'm positive I'm nowhere near the lady she is. If you've ever met her, then you already love her and know that she is the most selfless and giving person on the planet. You can read more on her here. :)

The older that I get the more that I realize that the "what" you give actually matters more than we'd like to admit. Yes, I believe in the idea of, "it's the thought that matters," but I also believe the "what" matters too. Not in the way of the gift needing to be the best, most expensive, biggest, sparkliest, you-fill-in-the-blank-here, but in the way of the "thought" being combined with the "what."

Is what you are giving something that the recipient would really enjoy? We ought not give a gift just to please ourselves. That defeats the purpose doesn't it? When you saw what you are giving did you immediately think of who it should be given to? If it isn't something that evokes a memory of or feeling for the person then maybe it's not for them. Maybe it's more for you. I think we should all be more careful in our gift giving. Let's take ourselves out of the equation.

When it comes to giving gifts to my children I like to think of the things that will actually be useful, and not just frivolous things. I know for me, I'm always looking for a way to purge all the things we already have around the Hive. We constantly have a "Goodwill" pile mounding up in the garage. Perhaps it's my slight O.C.D. and need to have things clean or maybe I just really enjoy the idea of giving our things we're not using anymore to others, but I'm constantly amazed at just how much stuff we already have. So...

This year, for our kids' birthdays, my husband and I have decided that we will not be giving presents, but presence.




Our kids don't need another little toy, stuffed animal, piece of clothing, electronic, etc. What they do need is us. There will be plenty of time for all of those other things to distract them from us one day, and that day is coming much quicker than I like to allow myself to even think about, but for now our kids crave our attention. They are constantly begging us to "look at me, daddy!" or "watch this, momma!" And this year, and every year from now on as far as I'm concerned, I'm going to give them exactly what they want. Me. I'm giving them my presence. 

That won't mean that they won't have anything tangible, but what that does mean is that the tangible thing isn't going to be the main focus. Our main focus will be giving of our time, our attention, our love to them. Those "things" spent together far outweigh any money spent anyway. We will make memories with our kids. We will spend one-on-one time with just them. We will laugh and talk and soak up every moment we can with them. One day they will be somewhere else on their birthday, and every other day for that matter, but while they are here with us we will cherish them, hold tight to them, delight in them.

I am so looking forward to their birthdays this year and they are too. Together, the girls have already gone on a date with their daddy to the movie theatre, and will get to go on a date alone with him soon. I get to take the girls out individually for a special mom and daughter date too. It's a new tradition that we are starting for our family, and it's one that I'm hoping will stick around for a long, long time. 

I encourage you to truly think about what it is that you are giving. Maybe it's time you remember that the best thing that you can give is your time, your attention, your love...yourself. 

<3

1.11.2016

You can't pour from an empty cup.

I've had this post on my mind and heart for awhile now. I think we've all read the saying...



The most recent time that I came across this saying, it inspired my becoming a little more "unplugged" throughout the Advent and Christmas season. The idea of making sure that we take care of ourselves so that we can then in turn take care of others is wonderful and needed. It's a notion that I fully support. I think, though, that oftentimes we have better intentions of "filling our cup" than what actually ends up filling us. What I'm trying to say is...that I think we get this one wrong most times. I think we fill our cup with all the wrong things. We aim to fill our cup with all of the right things like, alone time for ourselves, or hobbies, or making memories with our family, or you-fill-in-the-blank-here. And those are all well and good things, don't get me wrong, but I'm just not sure that they are the right things that should be filling our cup.

Throughout the Advent and Christmas season I try my very best to teach my kids "JOY," which around our Hive is an acronym for: Jesus, Others, You. The idea is to remember...in all things...Jesus first, then others, and lastly yourself. So if I apply the "JOY" acronym to the idea of "filling my cup" it almost feels backwards or like a catch-22 or something.  I can't pour from an empty cup, meaning I need to put myself first and "fill my cup," but I should be putting Jesus first, others second, and myself last. Feeling confused yet??? It's actually quite simple. In order to "fill my cup" I must put Jesus first. Jesus will fill our cup. We will be full of Him. We can serve others. So both ideas are met.

This past Sunday our sermon at Grace Winter Garden went hand in hand with what's been buzzing around in my head. We are starting a series that will go through the book of Colossians, and the sermon this week reminded us that order matters when it comes to our well being. The issue that pastor Brian was getting at the heart of was that we must first put our lives, priorities, minds, hearts, in order of the things that truly matter so that we can accomplish all that God has for us.

We must put first things first. We must remember that we are saints. (Col 1:2) We are to take care of our spiritual well being first and foremost. How often do we forget that we are not made for this world? I know that I'm not very good at remembering to act as a saint in all that I do. I fail on a daily hourly minute-ly basis in remembering to set Christ at the forefront of my mind. One small way that I'm trying to put first things first is by starting my day by reading from my Bible. It is the very first thing that I do, and has become a habit now, one that I look forward to. (when I finally convince myself to get out of the bed) It's a nice way to start my mind and heart out with a clear focus on Christ and what really matters.

We must focus our energy on what really matters. We ought to be Kingdom minded in all that we do. We should set our minds on things above and not of this world. (Col 3:2) If we focus on Christ and who He is then we will have a clear picture of the things that truly matter. I tend to fall back on the fruits of the Spirit pretty frequently throughout my day. I even sing a song about them when I'm reeeeally needing to realign my heart and attitude. This helps me to have and show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control in the moments that I need to most. I am not at all perfect at this...just ask my husband and my kids.

We must do these things now. We are creatures of habit, and chances are that if these things aren't something that we do on a regular basis now, then it is easier for us to say we'll start another time, or day, or week, etc. I know I can be the world's best Scarlett, and just think about it tomorrow, but there's no room for that when it comes to this matter. Jesus is asking us to follow Him, but not sometime in the future. He means now. Like, right now. And in following Him, He makes us whole...He fills our cup when we follow Him.

Pastor Brian made so many wonderful points, and I can't begin to attempt to cover them all, (and most likely did a poor job in covering the ones above), but I just thought it was so awesome that the series we are starting is, in a way, mirroring what I've been dwelling on. In following the "JOY" way of thinking I am able to "fill my empty cup."

I think that the timing of this is perfect too, with it being the beginning of a new year and everyone making resolutions...trying desperately to "fill their cups." We all want to start the new year off right, but let's be careful to not "fill our cups" with all the wrong things. What if we all start with Jesus?

<3