Ever have those moments days when you can't do what you want because you have to do something else that you want?
I mean like when you're all, "Hey! I'm going to start eating healthy today!" And then you go pin 1,276 vegan recipes to try out, you make grocery lists, even put them on your meal plan, and then go eat chocolate chips, that are meant for baking, straight outta the bag. Want to eat healthy...want to eat chocolate chips.
Let's talk about that other little thing that we don't like to talk about all the time. It's the word that all women dread to hear...the word that the doctor gives them the "all clear" for about 6 weeks after they have a baby...the word that has the letters 'E,' 'X,' and 'S'... Exercise. What were you thinking?
Somedays I wake up early, and get my workout in before the kids are up. Somedays I wait until nap time and then I workout. Somedays I don't workout at all and I eat ice cream for breakfast. Want to exercise...want to be lazy and also eat ice cream for breakfast.
What about the moments when you are working your tail off trying to get supper cooked to perfection, entertain the kids, clean up the mess in the kitchen you are making due to cooking the perfect supper, take the dog out, try to figure out for the millionth time why the baby is only taking a 45 minute nap, and also order christmas presents online because you're the only one that get those things done right now, but really you just want to go sit in the bathroom by yourself for the first time all day since you became a mother. Want to be super mom...want to go to the bathroom by yourself.
Let me try to further explain with this super serious meme...
See what I mean? :)
Oh Ariel, girl, I feel you. And just look at poor Prince Eric, he has no clue how to help. All he wants to do is fix it. Guys are such "fixers."
If you are anything like me, you certainly have these
Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated during these moments. Sometimes I'm frustrated at myself or my kids or having to be the "responsible" one or even my husband. Recently I told my husband that when he sees that there is a lot going on, when he can tell that I'm stressing, when I'm having this "I want to do this, but I want to do that" moment I need him to help. I also told him that the best way for him to help me is to say, "How can I help you?" Because let's be honest...sometimes we think that we are helping, but in fact we are making the situation worse.
Here's a recent example we've had at the Hive, I went in to get Jackson up from a nap and he had a massive diaper explosion. It happens to all of us at some point, but it never seems any less disgusting. Since I was the lucky one to discover it, I got to be the one to clean the baby up. As I was changing his diaper, I called downstairs to tell Jason what had happened. I wanted to clean up the baby and also change out the sheets, but I knew I couldn't do both at the same time. Jason came up and started to take the bumper pads off the crib so that he could pick up the mattress and change the sheets. Before I could say anything, Jason goes to take off the little mirror that we have in Jackson's crib. He doesn't realize that it is tied on, however, and he rips it off. Torn. Broken. I got frustrated because he had done that and now I had another thing to do...sew new strings on the mirror so that it could go back in the crib after the sheets were changed. Jason felt bad, of course, and I did too. "I was just trying to help," is what he told me. And I understood it. His intentions really were good and I was thankful that he was willing to help out, but I really just wished he had asked how he could have helped. Because then I would have asked him to change the sheets, and reminded him about the mirror needing to be untied, because Jason has always been a bit of a bull in a china shop. Bless his heart. So then he felt bad and wanted to "fix" it because he had messed up the mirror. I told him it's not even about the mirror...it's about helping, and not just helping in a way that you think and choose, but asking before beginning and truly helping. Meeting another's needs. So that's when I told him, "If you really want to help, then ask me, 'how can I help you?' "
And you know what?
It helps so much! And it works both ways, ladies. I'm trying to be better about asking how I can help, and I challenge you to do the same. After all we were created to be our husband's helpmeet:
"Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." -Genesis 2:18
I think that it would be good for us all to take a look at how we are helping one another. Want to eat healthy? Then help your family make healthy choices for food, and skip the drive thru lanes. Want to exercise more? Find a buddy or a coach to help you meet your goals. Want to go to the bathroom alone? Ask your husband to keep the kids with him for few minutes or 15 and don't forget to lock the door in case one of them escapes your husband.
We ought to be more intentional with our helping with others and we ought to start asking how we can truly help those that we love and care about. Aren't those the people that we ought to show the most help towards? Rather than give them our leftovers at the end of the day?
Of course the biggest way that we can help others is by praying for them, but how about we ask for specific ways in which we can pray for others? Let's all take up the challenge of asking, "How can I help you?" more often. You might find that you're the one that gets the most help out of doing so.
How can I help you?
<3