4.07.2014

Count On Me: Jessica

How about that friend that makes you feel more yourself than anyone else? That friend that you have no walls or filter to worry about? The friend that's seemingly the opposite of you entirely, but really the identical version of you in another person? That's my Jessica.

Jessica and I ended up accidental best friends. We were randomly put together as roommates our freshman year at Shorter. However, over time we both have realized that it wasn't random at all. It was completely God ordained that we were placed in each other's life. We spent four of the most crucial growing years of our lives together. We taught each other how to be independent, responsible, loving, and compassionate.

You know when you go away to college it's really your first go at life on your own...without your parents there to completely bail you out, guide your decisions, love you unconditionally, give tough love when needed. I'm so thankful that God gave me Jessica to learn how to be a grown up with because she was an incredible example to me. She still is. All throughout college Jessica's nickname was "Momma Jess." She is the type of person that will bail you out, guide your decisions, love you unconditionally, and give you tough love...as your friend. Let me tell you that friends like that are rare and not easily found. She never makes you feel as if you are nothing less than her equal. She knows how to encourage and she knows how to remind you that the world actually doesn't revolve around you either. She's so wonderfully well balanced. She keeps everything real.

I remember the first phone conversation that I had with Jessica, the summer before we moved in together, it was just basic get-to-know-you type talk, but I hung up the phone feeling as if I'd just talked to a close friend. She had already made me laugh...we had talked about potentially sharing clothes and she giggled and said something along the lines of her being a "bigger girl, but maybe we could share shoes" It made us both laugh. I remember when we moved in to our dorm room and how our mother's are essentially the same person and hit it off right away. We of course had everything completely set up and decorated in coordinating styles by the end of the afternoon. When we were unpacking we both pulled out teddy bears from london that were nearly the same along with the exact same brand of toilet paper. It matters.

I remember we both had to learn how to handle each other's differing personalities. I wanted to attend every social event possible, where Jessica was completely content just staying in the room. She gave in and let me drag her out to meet people. Thanks Jess. :) I remember during "Welcome Week" we were out so much and it was so hot because we had just run up the hill and had to stand in front of the air conditioner to cool off. We were completely spent. I remember watching Trading Spaces and napping on the futon every afternoon at 4pm. Man I wish I could still do that. I learned that I show my love towards others by touch. Something I never knew before her. She wasn't a touchy feely person, but eventually gave in to that too. I learned that when she felt stressed or sick she liked her face and hair rubbed. I learned that as soon as I woke up I started talking and Jessica doesn't like to be talked to first thing in the morning. She likes to wake up quietly. Although our MJ "Don't Stop Til Ya Get Enough" was perfect for getting ready to. I remember going grocery shopping at like 2am to avoid crazies at Wal-Mart. Walking up the stairs that we so lovingly referred to as "The Beast," carrying grocery bags and hearing super loud music playing. "Is that "Moon River" that's playing?" and then walking into our room to find her screen saver blasting at full volume. I remember that each summer we would decide on what our decor theme would be for the next year's room. I remember her comforting me when my grandmother passed away. I remember watching the news footage on 9/11 with her from our dorm room. I remember finding secret passages around campus. One time the fire alarm went off and if it weren't for Jessica I wouldn't have gone out to Cooper Courtyard. I was fast asleep and woke up with my head on her shoulder standing in the middle of the courtyard and asked her "where are we?" She had gotten me out of bed, into my slippers, down the steps, and out the door. I remember serving as class officers together. Countless "Proclamation," and Ep Sig, and BSU, and SGA meetings. I remember helping in community service events she helped lead, becoming student teachers and decided that "you can't go to 4th grade with purple hair," celebrating our 21st birthday's together...yes I remember both of them. I remember that she constantly reminded me that "there is only One validation." Random passing out episodes that she had. Abby the Acura. Sleeping on the streets of Atlanta for American Idol auditions, concerts, and parties. Kidnapping our guy friends, blindfolding them, driving aimlessly around parking lots, and then taking them to Bruster's. She introduced me to banana cream pie milkshakes, s'mores, applying eyeliner correctly, going antiquing, decorating "on a beer budget with champagne taste." She was there for me when I had my first heartbreak. And I was there for hers. No body can hold a candle to her "shake it like a salt shaker" or her trademark move..."the Jessonce'." She helped me decide if my outfits were ok or if I looked like a lesbian or mexican. We have entirely too many inside jokes to count..."you guys want some cookies?" "turtle turtle" "find your happy place in the upper right hand corner" "the floating swan" We kept a fish named Mr. Tickles and buried him at Shorter when he passed away. Bah Bah Bah Mr. Tickles...wherever you are. She introduced me to my husband, Jason. She is a vital person in my life. I have 10,000 memories all filled with you Jessica.

We stayed together all four years. They flew by. They feel like eons ago. There are days that I want them back so desperately. Even after college we have remained close. Distance and life and busy schedules try to keep us apart, but we somehow manage to still love each other just the same. It has been nothing short of pure joy being her friend. We have had some trying times, specifically around frustration, and questioning, and not understanding with her struggle to become a mother. You can read about it at her blog A Doxology In Darkness. But I'm thrilled to now have her share in the ups and downs of motherhood! Her new baby girl, Thea, is absolutely perfect. I am so thankful that I got to share in her first few moments. I can remember driving down to the hospital just a couple of weeks ago on the night she was born thinking to myself that God is so good to have given me a sister to share this joyous time in. Jessica has been the most amazing picture of God's faithfulness. She is a living and breathing testimony that all things work together for the glory of Christ. Our friendship included. I just hope and pray that I can be as much of a blessing to her that she is to me. She is far more than a friend. She is my sister. My chosen sister. I know I can Count On You Jessica. And you know that without a doubt you can Count On Me.

4.04.2014

Spring Cleaning

I've updated the blog a bit...I'm sure you've noticed. :) It's that time of year again that everyone starts their spring cleaning so I thought I'd spruce things up around here too.

There's a lot of cleaning I'd like to do this year. Aside from the typical cleaning of the floors, and closets, and such. I'd like to do some cleaning of my heart and mind. Too often they get cluttered up with completely unnecessary things. I've not been sleeping well at night recently and I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm not focused or centered on the things that I ought to be.

Last week at church our pastor shared about how to center your prayer life on God instead of centering your prayer life on yourself. How often have I prayed for things that I need or that I want? When the entire time I should have been praying for more knowledge and understanding of what God needs and wants for me. We need to remember our eternal glory and not let our circumstances or situations draw our eyes away from God. God has guaranteed your eternal glory so why should anything be in competition with Him? I have to admit that it was a tough sermon to hear. You mean it's not all about me???

Ephesians 1:17 says "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him"

Knowing is growing. In order to grow more we have to know Him more. In order to know Him more we have to spend time with Him...in prayer. God centered prayer maintains God centered living. God chose us that we may be holy and blameless and even though He has already poured every spiritual blessing into us there still must be growing! And it's not just important that you pray, but how you pray. We ought not pray for more blessings (we have already been blessed...remember?), but we ought to pray to acquire a deeper intimacy with who God is and what He has done. Praise should be a major part of your prayers because God has already given you all of His spiritual blessings. Why would we need to ask for more?

So I don't need to pray for more power, more grace, more patience...because I have already been given them...in fullness. I need to pray to grow in the knowledge of His power, His grace, His patience. I don't need to pray for more blessings. I need to pray to know God's blessings. I don't need to focus on the gifts, but focus on the Giftor.

So where to start? How about praying scripture back to God. I can't say it better than Him anyway. So I'm praising Him that...

"therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 corinthians 5:17

"the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him." - lamentations 3:22-24

Seems like a pretty good start for cleaning my heart and mind out. What are you praising Him for?