Wednesdays: Woeful or Wonderful?

Here I go again starting another series, but look at me...blogging two weeks in a row! I am going to be consistent if it kills me.

Since I've decided to make my regular blogging day on Wednesdays, I figure coming up with a catchy little title and series to go along with it is just fine. I thought it might force me to become a bit more reflective of how the week has been going thus far or how the week has gone since last Wednesday. I've decided that I'll name it "Wednesdays: Woeful or Wonderful?" because let's face it...they will neither be always be wonderful nor woeful. It leaves me with options.

This first post in the series I deem to be both Woeful and Wonderful at the same time.

Let's start with the Woeful. I always prefer to start with the not so good and then end with the good...you know end on a positive. This post is specifically directed to parenting. Ok so there's about a bajillion parenting resources out there...books, websites, blogs, facebook pages, magazines, you name it and it's out there. And oh yeah, people...even people who aren't parents are actually experts on the subject. (possible sarcasm) Anyway I've never been the type of parent to go out and search for hours on end for the "right" way to parent. Nor am I the type of parent to go out and ask for advice because, quite frankly, I don't really want it. I don't usually give out parenting advice unless it is asked of me directly. Not going to find me commenting on endless sites about a general parenting issue. Don't get me wrong, I've read the books that you are apparently required to read, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Shepherding A Child's Heart, Happiest Baby on The Block, Babywise, The Baby Whisperer, I could go on and on, but the list is foreeeeeeever long. I'll spare you. :) I've also found myself casually clicking on an article that someone will post about some parenting type issue. Usually nothing ground breaking though. I'm from the school of "find what works for you and your family and support others in what works for their family even if it's different than what works for your family, and while we're at it let's not bash each other about the ways we parent."You'd be surprised that most people aren't from this same school and it's very, very sad.

Anyway I'm not posting about parenting ways in this post...possibly never. What I want to share that was a bit of an eye opener for me this week was an article that was shared by a friend on facebook. This is a blog post from Hands Free Mama titled, The Important Thing About Yelling. If you've got a few minutes go on over and read it. The basic gist of it is responding to your children in understanding and love instead of in annoyance or frustration. I wouldn't consider myself a "yeller," I mean yes I have yelled at my children before, but my struggle at times is my heart's attitude toward my children's mistakes. So I attributed her example of a "yeller" to my heart's response toward my children. Sometimes I am just downright annoyed at them. I mean geez at the "problems" and "mistakes" they have, but then I have to remind myself that they are 4 and 1. So after reading the post I had a pretty big "Woeful" moment. I cried because I too have not always been the mom that I want my children to remember, have, grow up to be like. There have been many times when I've been annoyed because Ava is "interrupting" me when I'm trying to send a text, and all she is asking is for me to play with her. I think of those moments and I think what a terrible, awful, horrible failure of a mother I have been.

Which leads me to my "Wonderful" (thank goodness) I can't allow myself to just wallow in my poor mothering in the past...or that which is sure to come, but I can make a change. Today I decided that I wouldn't allow my children to annoy me. That I would not "yell" at them from my heart but instead respond in love. That I would try to change my heart's attitude toward their downfalls. Because after all, "behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward" psalm 127:3. They are truly a reward and should be treated as such. No that doesn't mean I'm going off the deep end and never disciplining them again and putting them on a pedestal, but trying even harder to discipline myself in love so that I can discipline them in love. We had a fun day today. We played kitchen and dumped out all of the food so that we could make a pretend birthday party meal. Instead of saying "no let's not dump everything out and make a mess." I played dollhouse with Ava and let her give all 12 of the 12 dancing princesses a tour of every room, even though her nap time alarm went off when she was on princess number 4. Instead of saying "really you want to play with all 12? how about just 2?"

I'm going to challenge myself to mother my children the way that I would want someone to mother them. Not the way that I feel like mothering them at the moment. We have a family rule that says, "Treat each other like you treat your friends" based loosely on the golden rule, matthew 7:12. Isn't it a shame that we so very often give the least amount of love towards our loved ones. At the end of the day we often have nothing left to give our spouses, children, parents, siblings...when they deserve the most of all. I'm going to adapt our family rule for one of my own personal mothering rules. "Mother your children the way you would want them to mother/be mothered" or "Mother your children the way you would mother another child that doesn't have a mother" something to that affect anyway. I think you get the point. It's not going to be an easy challenge and I'm positive I will fail many, many times, but the important thing is that I'm trying.

Lyn 101: 6-9

It seems I have an ongoing problem with blogging on a regular basis. Soooo I'm setting an alarm on my phone to remind me. Here's to hoping that it will help me become more regular. Only time will tell.

#6 I have a lot of nervous energy all the time...which leads to bad habits

It's not that I'm necessarily nervous...just I can't seem to stop moving. Even when I'm supposed to be still. There's the typical shaking of the foot or leg when I'm sitting and watching tv, but the two bad habits I've GOT to drop (which I'm not sure will ever happen) are picking at my nails, which my husband Jason loathes, and pulling my eyelashes out. Wow, that last one sounds really awful. It's not painful, but for some reason I'll find myself rubbing my eyes and then poof...there I am pulling out eyelashes. Geez, I'm weird. See...just in putting it in writing makes me want to stop more than ever. It's not fun to share the not so pretty parts of yourself. Like I said though, I'm doing this series not just for you, but for me. I think it's going to help me better myself.

Maybe owning this about myself is admitting that I need to be still. "Be still and know that I am God" -Psalm 46:10 or "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him" - Psalm 37:7 Or maybe I need to be less anxious "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" - Philippians 4:6 or "Do not be anxious about your life" - Matthew 6:25 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" - Matthew 6:34

Hmmm...

#7 Stupid things annoy me.

Let's be honest, we are all annoyed at stupid things. And why??? Because they are stupid! They are senseless. They neither add or subtract from the quality of life, and therefore shouldn't bother me, but they just do, darn it. Want me to name a few specific ones? Ok. I will :)
     Girls who swing their ponytail when they walk....annoying...really? really? just ugh.
     Drivers who leave their blinker on...annoying...can't you hear it? or are you deaf and annoying?
     When people sing the wrong words to a song when they really know the correct ones...annoying
     When I can't remember why I walked into a room...annoying...am I really getting that old???
     Unwarranted rudeness...annoying...grow up and get some manners people
     Repeating myself...annoying...please don't make me say it again
     When the water doesn't get hot when you're washing your hands...annoying...hello, germs.
There's more...lots more. Maybe even enough for another series, "Things That Annoy Me," anyone? It could be a group effort. We could all find out how not to get on one another's nerves. :)

#8 I am a germaphobe

Goes with the OCD maybe? Prolly. I don't like to share my drinks with other people, even my husband. Yes, I know, I kiss my husband "same thing, right?" No, I don't care if you think that's weird, it's not the same. The thought of sharing a toothbrush with anyone is disturbing. Whenever I have to enter a number into a keypad (gas station, credit card machine, atm) I use my knuckle instead of my finger. When I use a public restroom I only touch things with my elbows or feet...that includes opening doors, locking and unlocking doors, flushing toilets (feet!), turning on and off faucets, etc. There is no such thing as the "five second rule" for food falling on floors. The only thing that helps me with my germaphobia? Cleaning. Glorious cleaning. I love cleaning.

#9 A few of my favorite things

Random favorite things for me...aside from the obvious things such as family, friends, dancing, stars, music, some others include: all things disney (especially figment, ariel, aurora, tinkerbell, daisy duck), any bubble bath, reading the dictionary, kit kat bars and york peppermint patties, salted caramel mocha from starbucks, knitting and sewing, being woken up by someone (in a nice way of course), having freckles and curly hair, problems that make you think of an alternative solution, playing road trip games, quoting movies, the fourth of july and easter, red wine, stargazer lilies, peppermint, not being the person to break a hug, anchors, roller coasters...I could keep going, but again...maybe this is another idea for another series. Let's not get carried away though. Let's just see if I can stick with continuing the series' that I already have going.