Here I go again starting another series, but look at me...blogging two weeks in a row! I am going to be consistent if it kills me.
Since I've decided to make my regular blogging day on Wednesdays, I figure coming up with a catchy little title and series to go along with it is just fine. I thought it might force me to become a bit more reflective of how the week has been going thus far or how the week has gone since last Wednesday. I've decided that I'll name it "Wednesdays: Woeful or Wonderful?" because let's face it...they will neither be always be wonderful nor woeful. It leaves me with options.
This first post in the series I deem to be both Woeful and Wonderful at the same time.
Let's start with the Woeful. I always prefer to start with the not so good and then end with the good...you know end on a positive. This post is specifically directed to parenting. Ok so there's about a bajillion parenting resources out there...books, websites, blogs, facebook pages, magazines, you name it and it's out there. And oh yeah, people...even people who aren't parents are actually experts on the subject. (possible sarcasm) Anyway I've never been the type of parent to go out and search for hours on end for the "right" way to parent. Nor am I the type of parent to go out and ask for advice because, quite frankly, I don't really want it. I don't usually give out parenting advice unless it is asked of me directly. Not going to find me commenting on endless sites about a general parenting issue. Don't get me wrong, I've read the books that you are apparently required to read, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Shepherding A Child's Heart, Happiest Baby on The Block, Babywise, The Baby Whisperer, I could go on and on, but the list is foreeeeeeever long. I'll spare you. :) I've also found myself casually clicking on an article that someone will post about some parenting type issue. Usually nothing ground breaking though. I'm from the school of "find what works for you and your family and support others in what works for their family even if it's different than what works for your family, and while we're at it let's not bash each other about the ways we parent."You'd be surprised that most people aren't from this same school and it's very, very sad.
Anyway I'm not posting about parenting ways in this post...possibly never. What I want to share that was a bit of an eye opener for me this week was an article that was shared by a friend on facebook. This is a blog post from Hands Free Mama titled, The Important Thing About Yelling. If you've got a few minutes go on over and read it. The basic gist of it is responding to your children in understanding and love instead of in annoyance or frustration. I wouldn't consider myself a "yeller," I mean yes I have yelled at my children before, but my struggle at times is my heart's attitude toward my children's mistakes. So I attributed her example of a "yeller" to my heart's response toward my children. Sometimes I am just downright annoyed at them. I mean geez at the "problems" and "mistakes" they have, but then I have to remind myself that they are 4 and 1. So after reading the post I had a pretty big "Woeful" moment. I cried because I too have not always been the mom that I want my children to remember, have, grow up to be like. There have been many times when I've been annoyed because Ava is "interrupting" me when I'm trying to send a text, and all she is asking is for me to play with her. I think of those moments and I think what a terrible, awful, horrible failure of a mother I have been.
Which leads me to my "Wonderful" (thank goodness) I can't allow myself to just wallow in my poor mothering in the past...or that which is sure to come, but I can make a change. Today I decided that I wouldn't allow my children to annoy me. That I would not "yell" at them from my heart but instead respond in love. That I would try to change my heart's attitude toward their downfalls. Because after all, "behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward" psalm 127:3. They are truly a reward and should be treated as such. No that doesn't mean I'm going off the deep end and never disciplining them again and putting them on a pedestal, but trying even harder to discipline myself in love so that I can discipline them in love. We had a fun day today. We played kitchen and dumped out all of the food so that we could make a pretend birthday party meal. Instead of saying "no let's not dump everything out and make a mess." I played dollhouse with Ava and let her give all 12 of the 12 dancing princesses a tour of every room, even though her nap time alarm went off when she was on princess number 4. Instead of saying "really you want to play with all 12? how about just 2?"
I'm going to challenge myself to mother my children the way that I would want someone to mother them. Not the way that I feel like mothering them at the moment. We have a family rule that says, "Treat each other like you treat your friends" based loosely on the golden rule, matthew 7:12. Isn't it a shame that we so very often give the least amount of love towards our loved ones. At the end of the day we often have nothing left to give our spouses, children, parents, siblings...when they deserve the most of all. I'm going to adapt our family rule for one of my own personal mothering rules. "Mother your children the way you would want them to mother/be mothered" or "Mother your children the way you would mother another child that doesn't have a mother" something to that affect anyway. I think you get the point. It's not going to be an easy challenge and I'm positive I will fail many, many times, but the important thing is that I'm trying.
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